waiting to exhale

Well last week was super fun. I am hoping that it was a week thing and not a monthly thing. I'm not sure I can handle another week like that. I had my vertigo back already with a vengeance which made me miss the annual trip to the pumpkin farm, instead I stayed home in bed and cried pathetically.  But Bex and Jameson brought me my favorite jimmy johns sandwich and that was really appreciated. Matt had a total melt down one day which was very stressful and then my father in law had a horrible accident that could have ended his life and that was a terrifying experience. I don't think I've recovered from any of it. I think my finger nails are figuratively bloody and or missing and my teeth are loose from holding on so tight. I am so grateful for family who circles the wagons around me and each other. I am grateful to know that I am not alone.
And I really want to do a fun post.... I'm just going to wait for something wonderful. I'm like the little kid on the Incredibles sitting on the driveway on my big wheel waiting for something cool to happen :)

Brain bomb

My brain sometimes likes to pretend it's left the building. You know when you're kids hide in the middle of the clothes racks at the store and don't say a word when you are screaming their name about to call the police? Thats my brain. I bought a box of sausages for breakfast this week from costco, and for some reason put them in the freezer in the garage, even though I knew perfectly well I bought them in the refrigerator section. Then was shocked when I went out the next morning and they are a big solid mass of sausage. I was a little annoyed, but I brought them in so maybe they would defrost by morning in the fridge. But where did I find them this morning? In the freezer in the kitchen. Apparently I moved them from one freezer to another.
sigh

Milestones

We reached a new milestone this week! Matthew was able to get is Patriarticle blessing on Sunday! It was very special, the Patriarch actually came to our house to do it. He said Matt could have who ever he wanted in the room and Matt only wanted Kirk and I. It was a very long blessing. About halfway through it I realized in a new way that I was hearing it in regards to my 17 year old son, but that he was going to be reading it for guidance still when he is 40 and up. It was a strange moment, it made me cry! He was very happy with it, like all of us and wished it could be specific, but I think it will help him for his life to come.
It was a wonderful moment as a mom.

My adventure

hello family :) I figured I might get the chance to talk with most of you but just in case... So yesterday I was looking in the mirror at a bite on my neck and I had my head turned to the right side. I was holding a pencil with my right hand and scratching at my neck when I guess I lost control of my right hand and neck sort of froze, and my hand shook up and down and I couldn't hold the pencil, it lasted a short time but I still couldn't pick the pencil back up. My heart rate went out of control and I was instantly dripping sweat (so gross). So i panicked and couldn't figure out what to do for a bit, then called Kirk who was driving to Alabama. Then called the ENT Dr whose been helping me with the dizziness to see if this was a symptom. They told me to hang up the phone and go straight to the ER it could be a mini stroke. I talked to Kirk some more, he talked to his dad, figured out which Er to go to. Luckily Becky had just come over to do a run with me, and the poor girl got to drive me to the ER in her sports clothes! Kirk turned around and drove back, Bill and Susan came to the hospital. But my vitals were good so I was in a hallway bed for a bit. Once we got a room Kirk and Bill gave me a wonderful blessing, said the drs would figure it out, I would be ok with lots of rest and following the Drs orders. His meetings couldn't be cancelled because several experts were flown into Alabama and he was in charge of it all, so Bill and I pushed him out the door. I wanted him with me, but we are so close to the partnership finish line, and I was scared but it seemed like I wasn't in a life threatening emergency. Anyway so I did a MRI, CT scan and a chest Xray. And everything looks fine. Which is so wonderful and yet frustrating because they don't know whats wrong! It felt like I wasted everyones time and stress, and probably money. The ER referred me to a neurologist to test what ever he does. Bill and Susan both thought it could end up being a pinched nerve and running is to blame, so I asked the Er Dr and she said no and cleared me for working out. But for now no lifting my hand above my head or turning my head sharply to the right. Strange I know. Meanwhile I still have the slightly dizzy sensation, with ringing ears and a strange numb feeling that alternates with squeezing in the top of my head. But hey now I know it's not the veins or a tumor!!
I'm too young for this right?

Reunion photos

These are some of the pictures from the Johnston family reunion this year. Bill and Susan are putting in their mission papers this fall so it will be a few years perhaps before we get to do this again. Once they get home it will be time for Matt and Sam to leave on their missions. Little Eleanor decided she didn't want to be in the cousin picture and wasn't letting anyone but her dad hold her, so at my suggestion :) they photo bombed her in the back! She thought that was so funny so we got some great smiles out of her and all the other kids! Unless you are looking you won't notice her dads hands holding her up or the fact that Kyle forgot to take his shoes off!! The dock we were on was in shadow while the lake was lit up so the pictures are a little white washed, but I like the look. Its like the old fashioned soft lenses, used to make my eternal family look heavenly!!
You will notice Elle doesn't have her glasses on? Yah, I dropped them in the lake!! She broke the cardnial rule of glasses! Always put them in the case, never put them down, even on your moms lap!! The dock was in a lagoon we guess that was about 24 feet deep and no one could get down there without their ears hurting. So she's going to go to school tomorrow half blind and then we will run to lens crafters and hope they can really get them done in a hour!!

title? uuuuhhhh Dizzy

Boy has it been awhile! It's been so crazy! The kids are in school is which wonderful and terrible!! Man do I hate to wake up in the morning, and homework? Yuch! I didn't like it as a kid and I don't like it as a parent!!
So I've been stuck in bed since Saturday morning when my mysterious vertigo came back. This is maybe the 4th time in the last few years and it is maybe one of my least favorite things. Typing right now, os not helping, but I wanted to update really quick. This is the first time in days I've even been able to sit up so I'm celebrating! The only position I find relief in is one my rt side holding perfectly still, my hips are sore, my muscles are slowly disintegrating!! But I researched and found a clinic that treats my symptoms and I'm going tomorrow, which is why I'm slightly improving today! Every time this happens by the time I see a DR it's gone again. Very sad.
ok too dizzy to type, maybe not a good idea.
BUT I WILL BE BACK!!

Connor the pirate

My poor baby had his pet flying squirrel jump on him while playing and got his claw stuck in his eye. He thinks it happened around 11:30 pm and he texted me about 12 and said, "Hey you up?" then at 1:00" I cut my eye and it hasn't healed when you get this can you come get me.. I don't feel like moving :(" he was so polite! Finally at 3 he called me and that woke me up. I keep my phone on vibrate in the bathroom so texts don't wake me up for phone calls will. SO I went and got him and we went over to the ER since he was in a lot of pain. they put drops in his eye so we could see the scratch with a black light and it is very deep right on his cornea and then down along the white of his eye. The drops numbed it so he could fall asleep as soon as he got home. Then this morning I got him some cream that we spread on his lower lid, which he clearly loved having done poor kid! Then we patched it so it stays closed and comfortable. My poor man!!