There IS sunshine in my soul

Yesterday was the funeral for my friends daughter. It was very hard. Marsha told me at Grandma's funeral that Grandma said southern women do not cry at funerals. Well I must have a whole lotta northern blood cuz I cried the whole funeral. I have decided that I want the same opening song they had, which is There Is Sunshine In My Soul. It's always been one of my favorites, but it took on a world of new meaning in that setting,
There is sunshine in my soul today, more glorious and bright
Than glows in any earthly sky, for Jesus is my light.
There is music in my soul today, A carol to my King,
And Jesus listening can hear, the songs I cannot sing.
Needless to say I couldn't actually sing it, but it was lovely. They had all the youth in the stake come up and sing a EFY melody and Matt went up and almost got stuck right behind the podium and the look on his face was so priceless I laughed totally inappropriately that the friend sitting next to put her arm around me as if I needed comfort. The speakers were wonderful but I was still left throughout the day with a heaviness that seemed to go all the way to my bones. This morning I was given the opportunity to make dinner for their 30 member family which I really appreciated being able to help. Then when I got home and I am unable to focus when Matt came over and said something in his lovely deep voice and I was filled with happiness for my son, and then I could hear AJ and Elle laughing and bickering on the wii and I am filled with gratitude for my life and family. For my faith that buoys me up, without I could too easily sink into the mire. I am so grateful that we are sealed together as a family as my friends were. With this new found happiness that has been largely missing since her tragic passing I am going to conquer the mess in my kitchen and try my darndest to post Christmas pictures by the end of today!!

6 miles!!!

I ran my first ever 6 miles today!! It wasn't very fast I took 85 minutes to complete it, but I DID IT!! I did the run/walk method. I ran for 10 minutes and speed walked for 10, it' helped break up the monotony for me. I was on the treadmill in the basement since I haven't mapped any runs around my house. I had charged my ipod all night but the silly thing is so old it lasted 47 minutes which is not quite good enough!! But Connor was down there playing his fishing game on the xbox so I watched him fish for awhile, not exciting but could have been nothing which is worse, and he felt like I was watching him play so maybe I get bonus mom points!! Anyway my knees and ankles were sore at the end, so I clearly need new shoes, but I have some glimmer of hope that I can actually do this! Then again maybe not, I only have 10 weeks to add 7 miles and get faster!!! But at the moment I still have the successful glow, so I think I'll bask in it a little while longer!!

Struggles

So I'm struggling a bit today. I have a friend whose 15 yr old daughter died yesterday after major complications from a outpatient knee surgery. I don't struggle with the faith side, I know she is in a good place, I know that these things happen. It's just so awful that it was so avoidable, Dr's mistakes, insurance idiocy, those things, the fact that it's 2 days to Christmas even exacerbates it. I dreamt about the funeral all night and none of it was right, she requested sometime in the days before surgery if she were to die that she wanted everyone to wear yellow. So in my dream everyone was wearing orange tide shirts, logo included. And the mayor was there and her grand daughters were doing some African tribe dance in leotards, it was very odd. I think all of us who knew the family are taking extra time to hug our family and make sure we tell everyone that we love them. I hope none of us take this for granted. Last night I didn't want to turn the Christmas lights on, as if they should be dark for a light that is no longer with us, but then I thought I should turn every light I have on, in celebration that Christ was born and then died to live again, so that we can all be together together again. Thank heavens for that, thank heavens for the gospel and that I have it in my life. I want you all to know I have testimony and I cling to it everyday, and that I love all of you, family and friends and consider yourself hugged by me today!! www.HaileyMiller.org.

Music in movies

It's interesting how music stays with us especially well done music. You know when the music perfectly fits the moment in a movie or even commercial it's like magic. Last night I was relaxing after a whirlwind eagle project and on tv I found the last hour of Scaramouch, I wish I had all of it. But when it comes to the scene almost at the end when our two actors come out of the boxes on stage and the women then recognize each other the music that plays then is so perfect that even though I barely remembered anything else that was memorable. I re watched it twice before I botched something up and it wouldn't let me rewind anymore. Fun to see the old movies. My friend has a copy of Condorman and made me a copy, talk about old school!! My kids weren't as impressed with it as I remember being!

Eagle project

So most of the Eagle project is done! The long, hard, exhausting part is done. Yesterday it rained the entire day and was 37 degrees. I really thought we needed to cancel it, but with lots of faith and prayers and all our fingers crossed it stopped raining sometime last night and hasn't begun again. We rented a auger to did the post holes and that was so awesome, each hole took 30 seconds or less, totally rocked. We put in the posts shoveled the dirt back in, painted the post and we were done. I wish I had one of the watched that count your every step because I think I walked the 3 mile trail system two or more times. It was wet and boggy but a surprisingly warm 44 degrees. However once we were done and packed up and freezing wind came in further convincing me that we were absolutely blessed today. We had 15 people show up, 2 from our old ward and all the rest from our new! And most of them barely know us, it was so great! Kirk, Matt and myself stayed up until 1am putting them together. Then I got up at 6am to make cinnamon rolls for the volunteers and a pancake breakfast for our family. All that is left to do is walk the trail with a GPS or something so we know how far a distance everything is and we can mark you are here on the map, the current maps are impossible to understand where you are. Big sigh of relief! Now who is going to clean my kitchen and the basement cuz I'm getting in the shower!!

First goal of 2010

As President Monson has told us a goal unless it is written down is not really a goal. So here is my goal out there for the whole world, or really my small group of readers to see. I am going to run a half marathon in March. I know how long that is, and I know it's not very far away but I am going to try! It's called the snickers race in Albany Ga and two or more of my girlfriends are running it and I like them so it's an excuse to hang out! I plan on having Bard help me plan my training and my girlfriend is going to help push me along. SO here goes and wish me luck!! Plus I think its the weekend after mom leaves from visiting me, so she can help run with me that last little week, I guess I don't run much that week. WAHOO! At least it's not a 100 like Bard is training for! That is one crazy dude!

Trouble and Sweetness

Elle really wanted to try on some new Christmas earrings and we haven't successfully changed both her earrings since they were pierced in August. She is very sensitive to her ears being touched, I think piercing them has given her ear issues for the rest of her life. SO I finally helped her take out her earrings which scared her to death and if I could go back in time I would have left the darn things in. After several hours of crying and hysterics Kirk and I announced she is too young for earrings we will simply leave them out and sent her to bed. I tried putting them in while she slept but her ear neurosis continued even in deep sleep. The next morning I asked one last time because they will close. She said she would let me try but she really wanted to hold my hand but I needed them to do the earring. AJ was standing there and he says "here you can use mine" and held out his hand! It was the sweetest thing and it totally worked! We have earrings in and they are gold so I can and will leave them in until she turns 18!

Christmas Caroling

The youth went Christmas caroling tonight to some families from both sides of the new ward and it was so wonderful. We started with a couple in our half of the ward that I haven't seen in 3 years because she has been so incredibly sick. It was so moving to see how thrilled she was to see us and hear the Christmas songs I couldn't even sing through the first song. I still can't even think about it without tearing up, it was so touching. I got to hug her and say how much we love her and I had bought them a tub of costco chicken soup and it said we are souper glad you're in our ward, merry Christmas. We also took a bag of oranges to some families and it said it was so apeeling to have them in our ward. It was a great night. I got to drive with some of the beehives who were very interested in hearing about my two youth age sons! When I told Matt and Connor about it Connor says, "I'm available" with his cute shy smile, I loved it! I informed him he will be available until he's 22, and he says "10 years?" And I thought good grief that is coming awfully fast!

I got the golden ticket

SOOO I won't mention what it is I was successful at finding today but I simply had to mention that I was successful. A girlfriend called me at 9:15 while I was about to leave for yoga and she heard this store got a shipment of these things in that my youngest really wants for Christmas and the doors open at 9:30. I decide what the heck and skip yoga. The line at the store is around the whole store and they got in a very limited supply, but I stayed just in case. The lady behind me was a real jerk and was kind of trying to sound like she was joking when she said there was no way we'd get one and I should just leave. I laughed like I know isn't it so silly us standing here, hah ahah ahah, faker. So anyway I got up to the counter and got the last two!! there was a limit of two per customer and I GOT THEM!! I was very happy. I really could care less about this item, but she wanted them for her bday and I couldn't find them and therefore didn't try any harder. But now I've got them and she will be thrilled, she won't be getting the laptop she asked for, but really I think this should do it! Hint it starts with a Z and has 6 letters with one space... I can't say in case a child reads this.

Christmas treats

We are getting the best holiday treats from people this year! And I am totally eating all of them, which isn't so smart of me but boy are they yummy! Do you think it's because so many people like us this year or is it because Kirk is in the Bishopric? Either way, bring 'em on!! (luckily we had the firm party already so I won't have to fit into that dress again for a long while!!)

What a card

So with Kirk and my callings we are having a hard time being everywhere. Tonight for instance AJ has to be at one house 20 minutes south of us, Matt has to be someplace 21 minutes southeastish of us and Kirk and I have to be at the church 25 minutes north of us all at the same magical time. So I found a ride for AJ and I was working on a ride for Matt and he being such a nice kid says " that's Ok Mom I can miss tonight and just sit in your class with you." which is so sweet until you remember I work with the 14 year old girls!! He watched me out of the corner of his eye and he said this to see if I caught what was happening which totally made me laugh! Thanks Matt but maybe next time!

More opportunites to serve

Well the blessings and adventures just keep rolling our way. I've been called into the Young Womens Presidency as the 1st counselor. I am so thrilled to be back with the yw! Not to mention how thrilled I am to not be the chorister anymore!!! Our president is the stake presidents wife and she is awesome and the 2nd counselors is one of my good friends from the old ward. I am so excited to work with them and the girls! Whats not to love about YW? There is always treats and talking, maybe some crafty stuff! Connor has passed the sacrament every week that we've been here which is so cool considering how shy he is. I keep telling him if he shows up and does his part faithfully he will become friends with the other boys, it's just the way it works, sprinkle in a little faith and long prayers from his mom and I think he'll be fine. Aj and Elle have been invited to a white elephant exchange with some ward kids, which sounds fun and Matt has already been to a Atlanta college basketball game since his leader is the College golf coach. After getting to see where the kids on golf scholarship stay I think he wants to pick up golf! So Kirks gone all the time, so my life is about to be crazy busy we have been blessed and I'm grateful!